NRA Stupidity

By Patrick MurphyPosted on October 30, 2020January 30, 2021Cat Story TimeTags Morons, Politics, Trumpanzees, Weapons-Grade Stupid, White SupremacistsLeave a comment

So some idiot from the NRA just left a voicemail asking me to take a "very important survey." The only question he asked was "what is the biggest threat to our second amendment rights?" Before and after asking the question, he repeatedly asked "Patrick? Are you there?" These winners can't figure out voicemail and we're… Read More »

“Fat-Free Oil”

By Patrick MurphyPosted on October 30, 2020October 30, 2020Cat Story TimeTags Diabeetus, Morons, Weapons-Grade StupidLeave a comment

So a while back I was involved in a conversation about diabetic-friendly food. The topic wound up shifting to low-fat and fat-free foods, and I made the comment that if you're watching carbs (as a diabetic gorram should) a lot of these foods are terrible for you. Specifically salad dressings because they replace a lot… Read More »

What Passes For “Philosophy” In Some Satanist Circles

By Patrick MurphyPosted on August 24, 2020August 24, 2020Cat Story TimeTags Conspiracy Stupidity, Losers, Morons, Weapons-Grade StupidLeave a comment

So I used to be in a group dedicated to "Satanic Philosophy and Thought." It was every bit as soul-crushingly idiotic and mind-rottingly pompous as you're thinking, if not more so. Usually painful, but sometimes hilarious in the way only pretentios wannabe woo-heads can be. Have I mentioned I get bored? Then one day some… Read More »

Tiger vs Title

By Patrick MurphyPosted on May 27, 2020July 2, 2021Cat LifestyleTags DMV, Monkeys, Tigers, Weapons-Grade Stupid1 Comment

I made a discovery yesterday. It is easier to get your hands on a monkey or tiger than a motor vehicle replacement title right now. By "monkey" I mean the cute little primates that swing from tree to tree eating bananas and flinging their dung at all who annoy them. By "tiger" I mean the… Read More »

Qanon Stupidity

By Patrick MurphyPosted on May 17, 2020May 17, 2020Cat UncategorizedTags Conspiracy Stupidity, COVID-19, Morons, Weapons-Grade StupidLeave a comment

So this stupidity happened. Short version: some stripper drinks the Qanon Kool-aid and goes on a road trip to take out Joe Biden because she thinks he's part of some cabal of child molesters. Because she's stupid enough to believe Qanon is credible. It gets dumber. At some point in her stream she said "I'm… Read More »

Story Time: Ministerial and Definitional Foolishness

By Patrick MurphyPosted on November 14, 2018May 8, 2020Cat Lifestyle, Story TimeTags Christianity, Ethics, Logic, Me, Morons, Philosophy, Religion, Story Time, Weapons-Grade StupidLeave a comment

I'm an ordained minister. No joke, I got bored and signed up with the ULC. I can referee weddings, throw funerals, and perform exorcisms, and have just as much legal right to do so as the priest at your local church. Mentioned this in passing a few times over the years, and while most people… Read More »

Conspiracy Theorists

By Patrick MurphyPosted on October 24, 2018May 8, 2020Cat LifestyleTags Weapons-Grade StupidLeave a comment

We get it. You're scared. It terrifies you that a bunch of backward savages could steal airliners with box cutters and ram them into buildings. Hell, it scared me too at the time. You're absolutely terrified that at any moment some whackjob could take an ancient piece of crap rifle and shoot someone in a… Read More »