Another follow-up and HR paperwork drama!
Had yet another follow-up on Monday. I was really hoping he was going to say everything was good to go. But noooo. The Hole still isn’t quite healed. It’s down to 1mm diameter and 5mm deep, so it’s right there, but still not quite. #&@*!
My next follow-up is 24 August. I’m assuming the reasoning is one week for The Hole to close completely, then another week to let the skin fully pave over it and get all nice and leathery. I fully expect to be asked “so, do you want to go back tomorrow or Monday?” after he looks at it then.
Speaking of The Hole…
The last few follow-ups have involved the stick end of those wooden swabs they use at the hostibule being stuck into it. That’s how we know it’s gone from 15mm deep two weeks ago to 10mm deep last week, to 5mm deep on Monday. Slide the stick in there, put a finger flush with the outside of my foot, pull it back out, and measure. Fair enough.
Then he sticks that damn thing back in there and starts jabbing it in and out. This tears up the inside of the hole to provoke it and make it understand there’s a Problem so it heals solid instead of as a hole going into the side of my foot that will end up trapping crud and getting infected again.
I’ll skip the obvious analogy for what it looks like is going on with that stick going in and out of The Hole. Because yes, it looks exactly like what you’re thinking it looks like.
Oh, and the whole side of my foot is sore and feels like it’s swollen to double size for a week afterward.
So that was all fine and dandy.
Cue the HR paperwork drama!
Last the disability people heard, I was hopefully going back to work on Monday. Because my handler was out of town all last week, I figured I’d wait to update her on Monday – I knew I wasn’t going back on Monday, but wasn’t sure if I’d be going back next week or what. So I shot her a voicemail, she updated the claim, etc.
The only issue is that extending the claim requires documentation from the doctor. Go figure, since there are piles of losers out there proudly scamming disability claims. I’ve known people who make the guy in Shameless look like a solid citizen. So even though I can in fact wave the stump at them and demonstrate that I am indeed temporarily disabled, I have zero problem getting everything done properly. It’s like the time I asked if the anti-fraud measures on my paycheck actually did anything and the bank teller told me they were absolutely useless on my checks – because I wasn’t committing check fraud.
Said documentation requires my authorization and my authorization form never got sent to me for some reason, so I have to authorize it over the phone. No big deal. In this case, it just meant I had to talk to the hostibule, authorize them to send documentation, and go back to letting my foot finish healing. So I fired off an email explaining the situation.
Five minutes later I got an email from HR freaking out thinking I was telling them one thing and the disability people something completely different. Specifically, when I emailed HR on Monday I said “the doctor has me going back 24 August.” Meaning going back for a follow-up. Later in the email I said I was hoping to come back to work either the day after the appointment or the following Monday. Aaaaand confusion ensued. HR thought I meant back to work on 24 August and couldn’t figure out why I was babbling about 25 ad 30 August.
Cue phone and email tag with HR, the disability people, the hostibule, and an entirely different doctor because the doctor I usually see was out of the office. Finally got the information I needed from that other doctor (the one who’s basically the House of podiatry), and he extended everything out to 6 September. So now everybody is even more confused, but it isn’t an actual problem. Extending the claim requires another round of paperwork, while going back to work early involves two phone calls – first I call the disability people and give them the good news, then I call HR and give them the bad news that they’re going to have to start paying me again.
And even worse, put up with me in the workplace again.